Getting back to where we once were
by xsiany fallen angelx
Summary: Summary: When Ethan told Justin to leave he did, but he also left Brian. They both want each other back and they get each other back but that is where the hard work begins. And can Brian get back the Justin he fell in love with before the bashing...
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: When Ethan told Justin to leave he did, but he also left Brian. They both want each other back and they get each other back but that is where the hard work begins. And can Brian get back the Justin he fell in love with before the bashing and Brian's not so nice treatment of him. Can Justin get Brian to change his ways or learn to live with them?**

**This story isn't about their time apart but them getting back together and trying to overcome they difficulties in their turbulent relationship so may seem like it moves really fast. **

**A/N First chapter just gives closure to the scenes before and after our best boys broke up, everything after is alternate universe, well sort of some events may be similar but mostly completely different.**

When he left Ethan's, Justin felt relief that he didn't really care. He never loved Ethan most of the time they had sex he imagined it was Brian he was pounding in and out of, quite hard to imagine considering that anyone else he was with he would top, he had only ever bottomed with Brian. But by imagining he was with Brian he ensured he wouldn't end up falling in love with him because after a while the picnics didn't mean anything and after the first time he soon realized that it was only Brian he wanted to do those things with. Justin sighed in resignation because he knew that he wouldn't be doing **ANYTHING **with Brian from now on.

He entered the left silently and want over to thei- Brian's bed. He hoped Brian was asleep, no such luck. "Come to bed Justin," Justin didn't fail to notice the pride that entered his voice, did he think he had won?

"I can't, I'm not staying." However much he tried he couldn't stop the tremble entering his voice.

"You choose him." It wasn't question.

"No," Justin felt compelled to answer it anyway, "he doesn't want me anymore and even if he did its not him I love."

"Why are you going then? If you want to stay then stay." Brian didn't want to sound desperate but he was however he was damned if he was going to tell Justin that, he was the one that had cheated on him with fucking Ian and broke every damn rule that was his idea while he had followed everyone of them like his frigid mother following the bible.

"I want to, but everyday it gets increasing obvious that its not what you want. If you could turn back time you would have never picked me up if we're being honest and you are always honest so every time you say you won't love me and won't be monogamous, it must have some truth. I never listened because I honestly believed you loved me, and on some level I believe you do but if I'm being honest I almost wished you'd never picked me up either because I love you so damn much but I wanted to hurt you and before everything happened and I'm not just talking bout you and me, before I fucked up my family and made someone want to take my life I wouldn't of dreamed of hurting someone I love. I've changed Brian and I fucking hate what I've become and I know I've got no one to blame but myself because you and all of Liberty Avenue told me what and how it was but I though I could change you. I have to leave now because if I don't I never will. Justin sucked in a breathe gathering his thoughts, "and if, in the far off future I have any chance of feeling even half the things I feel for out then I need to grab it, but I need to try to get back to who I was before you became my world, again no fault but my own. I will never forget you Brian but when Rage is over, tomorrow I will be out of your life forever and you can forget me. I wish it could be different I really do." Then, in silence Justin was packing a bag with enough stuff for a few nights, he'd already called Daphne and she was expecting him probably with a cup of coco and a shoulder for him to cry on.

Brian just sat and watch him pack, while a voice in his head was telling not to let him walk out of his life like this but it wasn't loud enough to tell him that by letting him go it wold save Justin from even more heart ache in the future. Brian himeself wasn't feel all that different to when he almost lost Justin at the prom but elt better because he knew by leaving he wasn't going to get as hurt as he was by staying.

"Your silence say's it all Brian. I'M truly sorry for staying even thoygh you told me to leave and that you didn't want me here."

And with his final words Justin left and the silence in the loft that followed his departure near deafening.

Brian went to the rage party the next night fucking everything in sight including himself.

**2 weeks later **

2 weeks later found Brian in the baths fucking anything that wasn't blonde, while Justin was moving into a new apartment. He said it was new and an apartment but it was probably older than his mum and Debbie put together and was more like a one room hovel.

**3 weeks later**

A week after that found Brian ringing up a hustler that had blonde hair and blue eyes but not that sunshine smile never that sunshine smile. Justin willing his phone to ring but knowing it wouldn't, affirmative of his beliefs that he didn't care, at least not enough.

**1 month later**

A month later found them both in Babylon about to bump into each other after their split, thus started to heal the wouns created in the others separation.


	2. Babylon

Justin didn't know where to place himself. After Emmet had asked him to meet him here tonight, saying that he was friends with the gang as well as Brian. But they both knew it wasn't true, he barely knew Ted and Michael hated his guts. He had decided he would go just so he could catch up with Emmet and not to catch a glimpse of Brian he lied to himself. He wanted to dance but there was only one person he wanted to dance with, he had made a resolution that he and Brian were over but like most resolutions, it was going to get broken. Justin just didn't know it yet.

Justin, maybe subconsciously, had dressed in his best clubbing gear. Skin tight black jeans and a black mesh top. Each item flawlessly accentuated his body and he was getting more than a few looks from the man that were both on and off the dance floor. He had also already grabbed the attention of the king of Babylon, he just didn't know it yet.

As soon as Brian entered the club his eyes zoomed in on the blonde thing swaying his hips at the bar, looking like he wanted to loose himself in the music but wasn't able to do so for whatever reason, Brian really didn't care. He looked enough like Justin for him to take him home instead of calling the hustler he had resorted to recently. He decided he would buy the blonde a drink then take him home and fuck him until he couldn't see straight. And then he would kick him out of their... no his loft and reality would set in, but for a few short hours it would be like he never left.

Not once did it crossed his mind that it would be Justin swaying his hips at the bar. He hadn't seen him in a month. He didn't see him in the diner much less Babylon. For all intents and purposes Justin had disappeared just like he had promised, no matter how much he had hoped Justin hadn't come back this time. So he had chosen to live out what he had let go through vessels, hoping the false reality would last longer than it did the time before. But just like his previous hope, it left him feeling disappointed and cold after each encounter with the Not-Justins.

So as he swaggered over to the bar gripped the blonde waist and lent down to whisper in his ear, "DO you wanna a drink or a dance or shall we just go back to mine to fuck? Your choice," he was unaware of the roller coaster ride he and the blonde thing was about to embark on.

Justin couldn't help but stiffen as he felt someone approach him from behind. He really was not in the mood to fight off some twinks unwanted advances. But as the person moved nearer , he couldn't help but sense that it felt familiar somehow. His first thought was that it was someone he or him and Brian had fucked but as an arm slipped around his waist and the whisper came in his ear, he could not be mistaken to who it was. He could do nothing to stop the heat rising to his cheeks or the butterflies fluttering in his stomach. That all changed however when he turned around to see the look of shock on Brian's face as he reeled back as if burned.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. This three word phrase just kept reverberating around Brian's head. So much so that he didn't notice that he had stepped away from Justin. As soon as he came back to himself, he muttered an apology and explained that he thought Justin was someone else.

'Its okay Brian, you didn't change when we were 'together', so I can't very well expect you to change when we are apart,' Brian thought about these words and realized he had changed. He had just apologized for Gods sake. When on earth had he done that before. The fact that he had took Justin home and let him stay the night proved that he had changed right from the very beginning of his so called not relationship. He just couldn't fathom why he had not taken the next step. By all accounts they had been in a committed relationship, where Justin was willing to do monogamy, and Christ, he was at such a tender age, whereas him himself was in his early thirties, hadn't been willing to give up sex with others. But if he wanted to turn his false reality in to actual reality then he would have to be more than willing and as he saw Justin turning to walk away and leave him again, he would have to be do so now.

Justin turned to walk away but was stopped by a hand on his wrist he tried to escape but Brian was too strong for him to pull away from. He turned around to tell Brian to let go but was pulled into a bruising kiss that stole both the words and breath from him.

As Brian pulled away he knew if he wanted to keep Justin h had to say the three little words that would stop him from leaving.

"Justin I..."

Ok will he or won't he?

Next time Brian and justin will have a much needed talk and we will come face to face with some of the gang and gauge they reactions to the new Brian and Justin whatever that may be


	3. Feelings part one

A/N: So this chapter just giving insight into how each of the men are feeling! OK so no gang or proper talking in this chapter but deffo in the one after the next one!

Split this in two parts to make it easier to understand net one will be up tonight or tomorrow

Warnings: characters a little OC swearing... ummm thats all for this chapter

Disclaimer: All characters and places and settings do not belong to me. Only plot does.

**Chapter 3 **

**Feelings part one**

**Brian's P.O.V**

"Justin I..."

Christ why can't I just say those three little word? It shouldn't be this hard to tell him how I feel, but it is. If we were going to have any chance of a future then that would have to change and change soon. I was not willing to lose him again. The first thing we needed to do was talk away from he busy night club. It was something we had done, even though Justin always wanted to. When he brought it up I would just distract him with sex. Even if it worked now I was bound to awake to a cold and empty bed come morning and that was far from my intentions. Don't get me wrong, I certainly hoped that tonight would lead us to bed but I wanted to wake up with him in the morning as well.

SO here goes. This is it. The start of the rest of my life, and as much as I hate to admit, I'm not getting any younger. If I don't grasp this chance of happiness with both hands they won't be another one. And even if there was, no one would compare to Justin and no one could ever replace him. He was the best of the best and one thing I know for sure, I like having the best of everything; whether it was this seasons best suit or the best Italian leather sofa I wanted it. And damn I wanted Justin,, so much, I could just burst.

I decided I had been in my own musing long enough an it was now time talk. Just not here, not that we'd be able to hear each other over the blaring music.

" Justin can we go some where and... talk," I really hated that word, it really didn't slip off the tongue as easily as 'fuck' did. But it would be worth it if I could just see the sunshine smile that was currently in place on his face, and I noticed that for the first time in such a long long, time it was the smile I absolutely loved and it actually reached his eyes this time. I felt my chest swell in prid at the thought that I, Brian Kinney had put it there. Now I just had to keep it there.

I stood there waiting for a reply, hoping it would be the one I wanted.

"Sure Brian, where do you want to go?." Justin asked as he peered through his eye lashes. He literally took my breath away. "Umm not sure, not the diner," we would be bombarded with questions before we even opened the door."Or the loft," I continued, I knew if we went to the loft, the memories would hit, and it wouldn't take long for me to bend him over the nearest available surface and fuck him within an inch of his life. Justin must have guessed my line of thoughts if the pretty blush that adorned his cheeks was anything to go by. He then spoke up;

"We can go to my place but..." He bit his lip nervously, seriously did he have any idea what that was doing to me? "But?" I asked hoping for him to elaborate.

"Its... its not much compared to the loft, but its mine." Ahh, he was embarrassed. But by the way he set his shoulders, I also knew he was incredibly proud of himself as like he said it was his. And so he should be. "Justin, you could live in a cardboard box for all I care, I'll be proud of you no matter and as long as your there, I will gladly come to your humble abode." There it was again, his smile that managed to light up the whole world and make me not feel so bad about such a sappy comment. I knew I would make a hundred more just to see him as happy as he seems now.

"Thank you Brian, that means much more than you could now know. Lets go!" He then proceeded to practically skip out the club, me following close behind. He stopped at thee entrance then did something that made my heart flutter. He took my hand in his and we walked to the jeep together. I couldn't keep the goofy grin off my face. Things were looking up.


End file.
